Snark Hair

Has anyone ever turned into a snark?
In the sun? In the rain? When it's light? When it's dark?
I'm asking because in the past couple days
Snark features have turned up in frightening ways.

On Monday the snark hair began to appear
I felt just a tuft of it under my ear.
On Tuesday, my daugter declared with shagrin
It grew to envelop my cheeks and my chin.

On Wednesday I noted with mounting alarm
that snark hair was starting to grow on my arm.
On Thursday I woke up and got quite distressed:
the thick, furry snark hair had covered my chest!

This morning, I came in to work and found out
my nose was beginning to look like a snout.
My hands looked like snark claws; my feet did as well,
I carried a pungent, distinct snark-like smell.

It looks as though snarkdom may be in the works.
I'm still undecided about all the perks:
My hearing and sniffing's improved, and that's cool,
But everything's suddenly slimed with snark drool.

So if you're aware of a cure for this ill,
be it some kind of tonic, or potion, or pill,
please tell me! Or else when I go to the park,
kids won't call me "Mister", they'll just shout "Hey, Snark!"

Neale Pickett
neale@woozle.org
+NealePickett