The Love Boat s2e11


Season 2, Episode 11

This was the worst one yet.

Mona of the Movies

Mona Maxwell (1940’s Awooga-Babe Rhonda Fleming) is met by a bumbling fan (frequent Johnny Carson guest Orson Bean). For some reason, she agrees to have dinner with him. Then she cancels because she already agreed to have dinner with the captain, which makes him mad. She dances with him after dinner, and they hit it off, but she can’t go to his cabin, which makes him mad.

I can’t keep up with this plot, but toward the end, I heard some of the coolest jazz fusion I’ve ever heard on a TV show. Sounds almost like Spyro Gyra.

Heads Or Tails

Two dudes won’t stop harassing Julie, who puts up with it good-naturedly. I’d really like to see how the writers handle the men staff getting harassed. Maybe one episode I’ll get to see it.

Anyway, she agrees to have dinner with one of them and go dancing with the other, demonstrating to the television audience how to talk to women.

They keep up with the harassment, and Julie tries to teach them how to stop.

One of them convinces Julie he’s hurt, and she walks him to his room, where he upgrades to full physical assault, grabbing her and throwing her to the bed.

Gopher tells her “it was a harmless little joke”, and tries to convince her to give them yet another chance. There’s a scene where Julie actually stops putting up with everybody’s crap, and I was really rooting for her. But next scene she’s back to being a pawn, sigh.

At the end of the episode, she takes them both out to dinner on land. What the heck?

The Little People

Oh boy. Based on what I’ve heard about how Tattoo was written in Fantasy Island, I’m expecting a lot of cringe from this.

Noodles MacIntosh (UHF) and Lumpy (Star Wars Holiday Special) show up with their son. Every time anyone (including himself) says “little” or “small”, Noodles comments on it. Eugh. The son immediately meets Rhoda “Serial Killer Jr” Penmark (The Bad Seed), who he recognizes from the elevator. They’re immediately smitten with each other.

Aaand that’s the comic shtick, folks. Noodles pointing out every time anybody says “short” or “little” or “small”.

Rhoda finally sees mom and dad, and appears to have some pretty serious prejudices. The son can’t handle it, and breaks it off with her. Then she runs into mom and dad in the bar, and they inadvertently help her understand why being a jerk was off-putting. Then everybody realizes who everybody else is.

They decide to get married, and she says it’s okay if their children are small, concluding the 16-minute story arc.